found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
