woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
