chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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