You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
