You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize