he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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