That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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