We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
