me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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