Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
