I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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