hotel room ftw
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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