I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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