Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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