I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
