I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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