Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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