Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
