Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
