I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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