got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize