he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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