i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
His hands were made for my vagina.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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