how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
