So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
