I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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