I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
