It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
