woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
