so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
