What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
