we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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