like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
