I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
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Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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