Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
