He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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