Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
