some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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