i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
