i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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