Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
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Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
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She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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