He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Moan for me like Helen Keller
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
