Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I didn't notice because vodka
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
