maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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