quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Randomize
