driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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