Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
A bitchslap is in order.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
