I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
