don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We're too hungover to prance.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
