Can i not drive my cunt home
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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