I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
