Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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