I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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