it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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