can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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