He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
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He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
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He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
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