Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
