if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
