Sry I called you an 8
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
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Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
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No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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