I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm at about main and main street
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
