i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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