Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The uberlube is also flammable
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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