RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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