Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
