I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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