We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
