I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she pinky promised me she was 18
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
