you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
